Someone wrote in [community profile] fuckyeahfinalfantasy 2010-12-22 10:10 pm (UTC)

Re: FFXIII, Snow/Hope

The cold snaps were getting worse. Was this what Fang and Vanille had called Winter? When they spoke of it, Snow recalled, it was only with a sense of bitterness. A thing they’d prefer to forget.

Beside him Hope shifted and squirmed under the covers, as if fighting out the cold that seeped through the cotton. He’d have more peace sharing with an out-of-water fish. But soon he settled. Snow, with his hands behind his head, looking four feet ahead at the roof of their tent, said,

“I haven’t shared a bed like this since the orphanage.”

Hope said, “I don’t think I’ve ever shared a bed...”

“Welcome to the experience.” Snow offered a fist; Hope ventured his own from under the covers to knock it, then withdrew immediately. “I guess it’s all good practice. Gets me ready for the married life.”

Snow remained staring at the roof above; he didn’t notice Hope blushing.

Hope replied, “Gets me ready for the orphanage, I guess...”

“Hey, I don’t want any of that. When you’re sharing the bed with me you’re in a no-brooding zone, got it?”

“...”

Snow said, “He’s going to be alive, Hope. We already know the damage wasn’t as bad as it looked. Everyone will be evacuated safely.”

“That’s what they’re telling us.”

“Well, yeah, but you still believe it, don’t you? I can tell you do, so don’t say otherwise.”

“But even if he is alive...”

Snow waited, but he didn’t go on. “What, that’s still not settled?”

“You don’t understand,” Hope snapped.

“You’re right. I don’t.”

A heavy silence. Snow let out a long sigh through his nose; Hope heard it as frustration, and guilt got to him. But it was nevertheless true: Snow didn’t understand. Hope himself didn’t understand the feelings inside him, and resented the implication that whatever those feelings were, they were the wrong ones and he ought to change them.

Hope said, “I know you think I should be grateful. I am; I want him to be alive, more than anything. But that’s all. It’s like we’re not family; we just know each other. You guys are more my family...”

“So what’s the talk of orphanages for? Did you think we’d forget about you just because the world got saved? Everyone is family now, Hope. We’ve got to be. It’s the only way we’ll live.”

They went quiet again. The wind outside beat tauntingly at the sides of their tent and, distantly, there were sounds of arguing and anger. Others in the camp were struggling; those who hadn’t had the introduction-to-Gran-Pulse tour Hope had had.

“It’s so cold,” Hope said. “I wish Vanille and Fang were here. They’d show us how to cope.”

“I think we can show Pulse us Cocoon types aren’t as precious as we’re made out to be.” Snow stretched his arms out in front of him, cracking his knuckles.

“Gran Pulse is no match for NORA?”

“You said it,” Snow replied, shooting him a grin.

Hope had begun to shiver.

Snow said, “This Winter thing is gonna pass.”

“But it’s only just started.” He was speaking through chattering teeth.

“You’ll get used to it. Our bodies will have a rethink about how ‘cold’ means, and we’ll all be ok.”

“I don’t know if I can take it.”

Snow scooted closer and further down under the covers, putting his arm over Hope as he did, making a loose embrace.

“C’mere.”

Hope was startled; caught so off-guard he almost melted right into Snow’s side without resistance, even edging himself slightly closer on impulse. At one moment his leg brushed against Snow’s, skin-to-skin. He discovered Snow was hairy, bristly, like a Pulse desert plant he’d touched once. A thrill ran through him, a mix of pleasure and embarrassment; his smoothness on Snow’s coarseness. Snow was so bulky, he so small. He could hear the heartbeat in Snow’s bicep, where his ear was pressed. Could Snow hear his? He dreaded it, which only made it louder.

Such a big person he was. Hope wanted to lie on Snow’s front, stretch out against him; to see if, indeed, he could fit his entire self within the outline of Snow’s body; to feel the other parts of him. Would his body, someday, turn into something like Snow’s? One day, would he be able to keep Snow warm on a cold night with his embrace?

“Aren’t you excited?” Snow asked.

Hope almost jumped, being torn out of his reverie. “What about?”

“This world.”

“I like this world,” Hope replied. “But I’m afraid of it. It doesn’t exactly want to make friends.”

“That it does not. But think of everything new there must be for us to see. Maybe some new people, lurking around. There could be thinks we can’t even imagine, probably.” Snow smiled. “It’s gonna expand our minds. I always could’ve used a bigger mind.”

Hope soft-laughed into his chest.

After a while Snow asked, “You warm yet?”

Hope pretended to sleep.

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