sexychocobo ([personal profile] sexychocobo) wrote in [community profile] fuckyeahfinalfantasy2010-09-27 01:43 am


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FFX, Auron/Lulu: o speak, bright star (2/2)

(Anonymous) 2010-09-29 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
The airship hums underneath her feet, and she has broken all her rules, one tear that became two that became many. She doesn't need to hear his footsteps, because she never hears them, but the air changes around her all the same.

"Don't," she says. "Just don't say it."

"You believe you can read minds now. I'm impressed."

She startles when he walks behind her. He smells like spice and rum, like sweat and the heat on metal. His hands come up to rest on her shoulders. She tenses for a moment and then and relaxes.

"Do not take Tidus's words to heart."

"He's right. I'm taking her to die and pretending otherwise, never voicing it, it's...." The ocean drifts past far below, blue flashes through fat clouds, heavy with rain. "It is the wish of her heart to do this, but it—it broke me, and I haven't found all the pieces yet."

"We'll have Rikku find them," Auron says. "She likes puzzles."

Lulu turns, and wants to laugh and cry all at the same time. His gaze is steady on her, and she thinks of late nights and warm campfires, waking to bright stars and Auron, Auron, Auron, always watching them all. Always watching her. "How can I do this thing?"

"You have already decided," he says. "Yuna will die, and so will you." He tilts his head. "But are you sure that's how it will go?"

"There's no other way," she whispers. "Yuna believes. Yuna loves. She can do this." A tear drips down her nose. Her rules are ruined, five years of none, wrecked in one moment by a broken-hearted boy. "Oh, Yevon, I do not want her to do this."

Auron rubs a thumb across her cheek, wiping through the tracks. "You are not wrong. She will do this." Auron rarely smiles, but here is it, and it's as intimate as if he's pressed her into the window behind them and kissed her. "She is strong. But so are you, and she will need that, because she is going to do something much harder than die." His words are a rough whisper. "She will have to kill herself time and time again, and you must stand besides her."

Lulu doesn't know what to say. "I—"

His fingers cover her mouth. "Trust me."

Lulu finds, as his fingers lay scorching against her skin, that she does.


The remains of their dinner sit spread across the disaster of Baralai's desk. He doesn't seem to care, so Lulu doesn't either. "I did trust him," she says. "It was the hardest thing I ever did, but here we are."

"The machinations of it all fascinate me," Baralai says. "Do you think he told anyone else before that?"

"Maybe Tidus," she said. "Tidus was so angry, and I could never understand why, but perhaps Auron shared more with him in the very beginning. Yuna may know, but I have never asked. But otherwise, I like to think no. It wasn't even telling, it was another one of those frustrating hints he loved so much." She shrugs. "It was a selfish thing, because I had fallen in love with him, you see."

Baralai gapes.

Lulu holds back her laugh. "It was...a surprise. I was so level-headed, as all people think they are at any age, but he always caught me when I was at an impasse, off center. He was a great warrior in so many ways, not least of all in knowing how to read people. In how to earn them."

Baralai glances toward the sphere. "Is this...okay?"

"I wouldn't have shared it if it wasn't," Lulu says. "It's not something that needs to be hidden; I'm not ashamed. Kimhari knew before I did. Yuna and Wakka guessed, and toward the end I think Rikku suspected, because she was so young, and Auron was special to her, too. Like recognizing like." She sits back. "We all loved him, and we all had something to lose by finding out the truth."

"How did you find out?"

Lulu does laugh now, making Baralai jump. "In the worst way possible."


Zanarkand is nothing like she imagined it would be. It is both better and worse than she thought, and Lulu is terrified of it. The size of it all, and not just the city, but the feeling. Her magic itches and won't stop, crawling along her spine like a trail of spiders, a constant reminder than this place feels skewed. The camp is quiet behind her as she walks away. Everyone has taken time today, away from the group, but for Yuna, who wants to be close, but is still silent, focused inwards.

It's her turn, but she doesn't want to be alone.

She finds him around piles of rubble, the area behind it clear. Her fingers twitch when she steps behind him, as if her magic wants to escape. It's not even possible. Her blood still sings with it, though. She wonders for a moment, if she let Ultima fly, how strong it would be. She feels invincible, but she knows better.

"Auron," she says.

"Lulu." She wonders if she imagines the fondness in his voice, so different than how he talks to others. "Do you remember throwing a rock at my head?"

She flushes, feeling it all the way to her neck. "I was young."

"Ah, but there are much larger rocks here, and I know why you have come." He turns. "But Lulu, we can't."

Her world rocks, she is a ship in stormy seas, and his mouth is a sad line. "I don't understand." She really, truly doesn't. She hasn't missed these signals. It is the last night, and she made her choice, and he's in front of her telling her no.

"I think I can still love," he says. "I know I loved Braska and Jecht, loved them more than breath. I loved Yuna, the small, sad girl whose eyes never smiled. But I can't be sure I love anyone else, or if I am only imagining it. Projecting it, to hold on to something that I've lost forever."

Lulu steps forward, grips his arm. "Please," she says.

He cups her face with a warm palm. "Were I a man, I would say yes, because men love. But now, I can't be sure. I can't do that to you, with uncertainty. I would give you my all, if I were certain I possessed it."

Lulu holds him, and in the slow crawl of twilight, as she watches him, he shimmers. As the pyreflies are drawn to them, she understands. "No," she says, and her voice breaks. "No, no, please."

"In a different life, I would have loved you," Auron says. "Even if you did throw rocks at my head."

The stars are bright and pyreflies glow and drift, and when Lulu presses her face into his shoulder, he is warm, and solid, and real, and she loves him.

For now, that's all she can do.


"The rest of the story is very well documented," Lulu says. "Although I've left out a few details, I think for Auron and I, those are better left between us."

Baralai taps his fingers. "Did you throw a rock at him?"

Lulu smiles. "After I cried all over him, of course," she said. "But it was very small."

Baralai nods, and carefully leans over and turns off the recorder. "We'll pause there -- you're getting hoarse."

Lulu nods. "There's more I can tell you, not just about me."

"I would love to hear it," he says. "If you would be willing, I could see if Gippal would swing by and pick Wakka and Vidina up for a visit, since I am ordering him home. You could record, and they wouldn't miss out on seeing you."

Lulu likes this idea, of showing her son the city that he will never have to know as cold, nor foreboding. "That would be kind of you."

Baralai stands and comes around the desk. "I'll set you up in one of the suites," he says. "And Lulu," he touches her shoulder, "thank you."

"It was my pleasure," she says. "It was nice to remember him again."

After Baralai goes in search of a room for her, Lulu heads back to the balcony. Full night has fallen, and Bevelle is a kaleidoscope of color with all the new machina that's been adopted. She leans against the frame, and looks up at the twinkling stars.

She feels like she might dream, tonight.

Re: FFX, Auron/Lulu: o speak, bright star (2/2)

(Anonymous) 2010-09-29 06:38 am (UTC)(link)
Prompter here, to say yay for getting the first fic on the meme, and for making it much more than I could have hoped for! I especially love the hints that Auron drops -- always mysterious, beginning to end -- and how Lulu finds out that he is unsent. The framing device is excellent, too. I like both the idea that Baralai is assembling a history and that he's asked Lulu to help him do it, it's such a wonderful thought.

Thank you! :)

Re: FFX, Auron/Lulu: o speak, bright star (2/2)

(Anonymous) 2010-09-30 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Auron and Lulu are so real here. Heartbreaking and very well done.

Re: FFX, Auron/Lulu: o speak, bright star (2/2)

(Anonymous) 2010-10-03 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
I liked this -- it was quiet but affective (and effective!). I like the insights into everyone sprinkled about, and I love the contrast between Lulu's "then" and "now" voices -- she sounds so young in the memories, even if she presents such a cool and adult facade (it's so easy to forget, in the game, that she's only 22!). And, of course, I really enjoy the premise of Baralai collecting a history -- I want more!